These are strange times so I thought I would share my top tips, most of which can be applied to most situations. These can not only help you manage fear and anxiety with riding but also with any negative feelings you are currently experiencing around the lock-down and its implications, relationship issues, job fears, you name it these tips will help you.

1. We attract what we think about so the more you focus on the fear the more you will experience it. Start thinking about yourself as confident and brave and you will begin to attract those experiences instead.
2. By ignoring or shying away from your fear you are actually reinforcing it and enabling it to grow. You need to start facing it NOW. How will you do this? A little technique called ‘approach and retreat’. This, in effect, chunks down the process of taking you to what you fear into small steps. You aim to conquer each one before moving on to the next. For example if you fear riding a horse you identify WHEN the fear first kicks in. If it is when you put your boots on then all you start off doing is putting your boots on and off until you feel nothing. Trust me; pretty soon you will be keen to move on! The next step might be walking towards your horse so, guess what, you walk towards and then AWAY from your horse as many times as you need to until you feel nothing. Then you take the next step.
3. It is important to stretch your comfort zone (not blast through it). This means in facing your fear you need to take the next step (see 2. above) that creates an uncomfortable feeling of 'I'm not sure but I'll give it a go' but is still manageable for you. If you always feel comfortable how will you ever progress?  If you need to, find someone who can help coach you and stretch you whilst respecting where you are in your journey.
4. Be aware of your posture and breathing. If you stand tall, shoulders back, head up, looking straight ahead and breathing deeply you will change your ‘state’, move slowly and consider what you are doing. Smile, you will begin to feel better.
5. Whether you like it or not it is a fact that at any moment we choose how we feel. We choose our emotional state. Now, a genuine fear reaction will temporarily override this as it happens faster than we can think about anything rationally. However, the anticipation of fear or nerves is a choice on your part and you can change it. When you become aware of these feelings coming on think about a time when you experienced the good feelings you would like with you now, for example, relaxed, confident, brave. You need to really get yourself into that experience, see it through your own eyes, make it brightly coloured, a movie, what do you see, hear, smell, touch and feel? Call on the feelings you do want and override those you don’t. In NLP there is a technique called ‘anchoring’ that helps you to recall these feelings quickly when needed.
6. Your brain cannot tell the difference between a real and imagined event. If you constantly run a movie in your head of scary scenarios your brain believes these are real and you compound your fear. How about running a ‘good’ movie instead? See yourself being brave, being confident; imagine how it will be once you’ve conquered your fear. The more you do this the more you are programming your brain to believe you are that person.
7. If you fear something the more you talk about it, the more you give it life. Stop telling people you are afraid and start telling people you are working on increasing your confidence or becoming braver. Say ‘I will be able to do that one day, I am working on it’ instead of ‘I am afraid, I can’t, I’m too scared’. Positive words bring positive experiences.
8. Avoid people who like to tell you about their scary experiences, some people love to do this, particularly people who don’t have fear associated to the experience and love to wind others up who do. Find people who like to share their successes and all their good experiences that will encourage you.
9. Be in the moment. Reliving past experiences or fretting about future ones is unhelpful. Focus on what is going on right now. Meditation can be really helpful in teaching you how to do this. It takes practice, just like everything else, but it’s worth it.
10. Believe you can! We are only limited by ourselves and our own thoughts. Focus on what you want and put energy into achieving it. It is up to you.

To you and your confidence,
Caroline Andrews - Horse Rider Confidence Specialist

Sometimes the person who puts the most pressure on us is ourselves! Unless you have a goal with a defined date in mind, such as winning gold at the next Olympics, then I would recommend taking your time, take baby steps. Keep a diary so that you can look back and see how far you have come. 

Remember that you may not always experience an upward curve. Life sometimes throws curve balls which are invariably learning experiences that we need. See these curve balls as opportunities to develop and improve rather than setbacks. It is ok to have a day that isn’t as good as yesterday, don’t beat yourself up about it, tomorrow is another day and another opportunity. 

Set yourself up for success, do whatever you can to minimise the challenges until you are ready, take baby steps. Always ask yourself ‘how can I make this as easy as I can for myself so I succeed?’

Finally avoid comparing yourself to others. Celebrate your own journey and your own success. Feel proud if you achieve your goal in a year regardless of whether anyone else has done it in 6 months. 

‘Take the time it takes so it takes less time.’ Pat Parelli

What this means is if you rush things you may well find that overall it will take you longer. Push yourself too hard and you may blow the progress you have made to date and be back to square one. Gently does it. 

To you and your confidence
Caroline Andrews - Horse Rider Confidence Specialist

A lot of our confidence problems come from remembering past experiences that prove to us things are scary or from imagining future events and how they could go wrong. 

The best way to build your confidence is to focus on the here and now. You cannot change the past and you cannot predict the future. Know that your past experiences were presented to you so that you could LEARN and that whatever happens in the future YOU CAN HANDLE IT!

We are all capable of being in the moment. Have you ever watched a movie that is so engrossing that you don’t notice anything else around you? Or been so engaged in a conversation that hours have flown by and you had no idea? That is being in the moment, so connected with the moment and what is happening that nothing else enters your conscious mind. 

I find a helpful mantra is to say to yourself repeatedly ‘right here, right now, I am ok’. Also, become mindful of what is happening right in any moment, FOCUS on every little detail of the now. For example, if you are riding, focus on the sound of your horse’s hoofbeats, their breathing, the creak of the leather saddle, the feel of the reins in your hands, your heartbeat, your breathing, the texture of your clothes on your skin. Do what you need to and bring yourself into the NOW.

To you and your confidence,
Caroline Andrews - Horse Rider Confidence Specialist

What do I mean by the confidence conundrum?  Well, I think confidence is a balance, not enough and it can hold you back, too much and you can take risks and end up in trouble. I think it is important to feel confident in whatever you are doing and yet still be aware of any risks so that you can make an informed decision whether to proceed or not and what safety measures you need if you do. Let me give you an example.
 
You want to enter a cross country competition at 3’6” but you have never even jumped before. Do you saddle up and head out to the nearest jump and make that 3’6” your first one? Of course not! First thing you do is find an expert that can teach and coach you. You find someone who will support and encourage you, allowing you to go at your own pace, who doesn’t push you too hard. We only make progress when stretching the limits of our comfort zone so it’s important you do this together. You know where those limits are and your body will tell you when you are just beyond them or blasting through them!
 
Then, you start off with poles on the ground or a little cross pole jump just a few inches high. You learn how to ride into a jump, count strides, balance, communicate with your horse, ride a canter correctly and change leads (I am not a jumping expert so making it up). At each point once you feel confident you move on to the next by, say, increasing the height of the jump or the pace you are jumping in. You ensure you have the skill and the confidence at each level to keep yourself and your horse as safe as possible.
 
It is important with confidence to build a solid foundation to prevent the house falling down later on. Master the basics, take small steps and look after your confidence along the way, as the saying goes ‘don’t run before you can walk’. If your foundation is strong enough a small knock won’t make any difference, it will be a learning experience on what to do or not to do next time.

To you and your confidence,
Caroline Andrews - Horse Rider Confidence Specialist

Lately I have been fretting about the weather. Every time I get my hopes up the ground may dry it rains again. As a horse owner I have been allowing this to get me down. My horses are constantly wet, the fields too slippery to ride in and I am unable to ride out anywhere due to the mud. I can do very little with my Millie and I feel like I am not making any progress.
 
I know, from past experience when confidence was an issue for me, that when you want to build your confidence riding this can be a particularly challenging time and frustration may ensue at lack of progress. On the other hand maybe you are relieved as now there is a real reason why you are unable to ride?
 
It occurred to me that I have no control over the weather. Me fretting will not change a thing (except my mood) and I needed to change my outlook. So now I am making the most of being able to spend extra time doing what I can with Millie, whether that’s grooming her or simply hanging out. I will ride and play with her again when I can and not before, I am choosing to feel differently about things, changing my perspective, as these things I can control.
 
In fact, I am lucky, I have a warm, dry house, a lovely place to keep my horses (which I am very blessed to have anyway), food to eat, water to drink, nice friends and a lovely Mother, not to mention my cat! There are many people with much bigger problems than the weather or people with bigger weather problems (the United States always springs to mind).
 
All that said I am going to focus my energy on what I CAN change and accept what I can’t. How about you? 

​To you and your confidence,
Caroline Andrews - Horse Rider Confidence Specialist

This time I want to talk briefly about that the fact that you know you are confident when you can think clearly in whatever situation presents itself. So often we are plagued by thoughts of ‘oh no there’s a flapping tarp’, ‘there’s a barking dog, oh my goodness what’s going to happen?’, ‘what if those horses come cantering down the bridle path at me?’ and so on. Our minds race at the slightest suggestion of something that may ‘scare’ our horse and we have a tendency to overreact. 
 
Calmness = confidence, as does clarity of thought. I like to think of myself as The Terminator (no, I am not looking for a target to ‘acquire’), assessing my environment with indifference. This means I am aware of what is around me without feeling anything or reacting to it, I remain calm yet aware (well 95% of the time anyway). I am able to assess when there is a real danger and think clearly enough to take the necessary action, whether that is getting off, changing course or simply stopping for a moment to give my horse a chance to think.
 
I also use my common sense and ride when I have the highest chance of having an enjoyable time. That means I don’t ride when the hunt’s about or the shoot is on, nor do I ride in a howling gale. I am also very discerning about who I ride out with. So often we can push on regardless with a misguided sense of pride / ego, ignoring our intuition, and then wonder why it all goes pear shaped. It’s ok to decide not to ride when there is a genuine cause for concern. The challenge is being able to tell the difference between ‘real’ situations and ‘imagined’ ones.
 
As an example I was playing with my mare, Millie, at liberty in a round pen. Now I hadn’t done this for a while and, despite my strong connection with her, she needs to know I am ‘worthy’ of being her leader. This means she has a tendency to get over exuberant, lots of bucking and charging about. She will run in towards me, not aggressively at all, just rather enthusiastically and I will send her back out until she calms down. On this particular occasion she was rather more excitable than I have experienced in some years and I had a moment of ‘maybe I should leave the round pen until she calms down’. Now, I could have interpreted this as fear however, I knew my gut instinct had kicked in and was advising me to assess my situation. I did, and reminded myself that Millie has never caused me any harm while playing at liberty, she is very sweet natured, and I have enough skill to handle the enthusiasm. I stayed put and within a couple of minutes had her circling around me in a calm walk!
 
There are 2 main keys to calmness, one is to breathe deeply, down into your diaphragm, and keep breathing deeply until you feel yourself relax and the other is to learn to live in the moment. Our fears come from either reliving past events or imagining future ones, say to yourself ‘right here, right now, I am ok’.  And finally, as always, trust your gut instinct.
​
To you and your confidence,
Caroline Andrews - Horse Rider Confidence Specialist

It’s the start of another year, a chance to re-set, re-assess, start anew if needs be. Ask yourself ‘what do I really want to achieve with my horse this year?’

Up to this point have you been feeling pressured to do things because other people say you ‘should’? Are you pressurising yourself because you feel a horse rider or owner ‘should’ do certain things with their horse otherwise they are a failure?

The first thing I want you to do is notice how may ‘shoulds’ you have in your thoughts around your horse. Should is a word associated with negative energy and feelings and the natural thing to do is resist. What I would then like you to do is decide what you want to do, not what you believe you should. Your horse doesn’t care, no really, your horse doesn’t care, he or she is too busy living in the moment. 

Do you really want to ride? What is it you get enjoyment out of with your horse? Is it grooming, hanging out, playing at liberty, going for walks, riding out with friends, jumping, whatever it is become clear about it. Once you focus on what you enjoy, do more of it or figure out how you are going to make progress towards being able to do it if currently you are not confident enough. Owning a horse is a real privilege and I would love it if you do what makes you happy with your horse, whatever that may be. 

Notice how you feel, many people have lost this ability; every decision they make is with their mind as though it is disconnected from their body. What does your heart want? What does your gut say? Switch off those busy thoughts and ask ‘how does my body react when I think of doing that with my horse?’ Now I am aware nerves or fear may be clouding the issue right now, just focus on how you would feel once you have all the confidence in the world doing whatever you want to. 

Are you clear on what you want to achieve this year? How are you going to get there? Now make a practical plan of each baby step you need to move you towards your goal, the smaller the steps the more you will feel as though you are making progress quickly and be encouraged.

It’s your horse and your journey, enjoy the ride (pun intended).

To you and your confidence,
​Caroline Andrews - Horse Rider Confidence Specialist

​Now I am an avid poo picker….what has that got to do with confidence? I hear you ask. Well, I’ll explain…. Previously my horses were moved to their new winter grazing, it was a field they had never been in before. My poo picking gives me an insight in to how confident they feel in the field, firstly because I can see if their droppings are normal and secondly I know WHERE they have been grazing in the 2 acres.

Interestingly they spent the first couple of days in the top right of the field near the gate, then they progressed half way down the right side, the next day they ventured to the left and worked their way down from there. A week later, they were grazing all over the field (and I was having to push my barrow a long way!) and then I knew they were comfortable in their surroundings.

In my opinion horses are pretty good at managing their own comfort zones, they slowly increase them if left to their own devices and know they can ‘retreat’ back to their comfort zone if they need to.

As horse handlers and riders I believe it is our responsibility to respect our horse’s confidence as well as our own. Just like us, if you push a horse too far outside of its comfort zone when it is feeling afraid chances are you will experience an over-reaction and the horse will probably be fearful again the next time. 

Now I know all horses are individuals, some have very small comfort zones and may stop a few feet from their field or stable indicating they have reached the edge of theirs, whereas others may be comfortable in their own skin and  happy to go wherever we ask. Comfort zones vary from horse to horse just as they do person to person and it is up to us to notice and help our horse if we can to slowly increase their confidence. 

When we are wrapped up in our own confidence issues it is all too easy to overlook our horses’ in our quest to become braver. Some horses are more sensitive to how we feel than others and we can magnify their confidence issues or help them depending on where we are at ourselves. 

Next time you are with your horse notice when they reach the edge of a comfort zone or ‘threshold’, respect it and, if you are able to, help your horse feel more comfortable even if that means ‘retreating’ back into the comfort zone temporarily! By helping your horse you will be focusing less on your own anxiety or fear which will also help you progress as well as improve your bond as they know you are paying attention to them and supporting them in their time of need. 

To you and your confidence,
Caroline Andrews - Horse Rider Confidence Specialist

I remember, in the early days with my horse Millie, I honestly believed I would never be able to walk around the outside of an arena on my own without someone in there with me. I was totally reliant on other people all of the time and this held me captive to their availability as well as the weather, the mood I was in, how my horse was feeling etc.

Whilst having someone there for moral support was ok, what were they going to do, catch me if I fell? The disadvantage was I then felt I had to ‘do something’ and felt like a failure when I didn't and would dismount in a crumpled heap of emotion. Sometimes, depending on who it was, I would allow myself to be pressured into doing things I wasn’t ready for and end up feeling worse than I did before.

It became obvious to me that no-one else could ‘give’ me confidence; I had to start taking responsibility for it myself. Once I made this decision it gave me the freedom to choose what I would do and when. Yes, it meant I initially did even less than I was already doing but, as I built up my confidence it was mine, I owned it and I took responsibility for it.

A couple of clients have reminded me of this as their ‘helper’ has moved on to another yard or circumstances have changed and they have felt as though their life raft has floated off into the distance leaving them all at sea. Once I helped them realise that they could start taking responsibility themselves and start with very small steps they were back on track. There is a big difference between having moral support from someone or using them as your ‘confidence crutch’. Confidence comes from within you; if we could get it from someone else wouldn’t we all be rushing out to buy it? Even with people like me we can only show you the way, YOU have to commit to the journey and put the work in to succeed.

My advice to you….take responsibility for your confidence, find it within yourself, it may only be a tiny spark just now but nurture it and it will grow with time. Yes, seek help from an empathetic riding instructor, a confidence expert like me or a friend but don’t rely on them, rely on yourself, you can do it!

To you and your confidence
Caroline Andrews - Horse Rider Confidence Specialist

This week I thought I would talk about the importance of connection with your horse, something I have been reminded about often.

In the past, when I moved my horses to a farm, I had been so busy with work that I had not had as much time as I had previously to play with and ride my lovely Millie. Snatched moments of time here and there were all I managed.

When I did ride her I was attempting to hack her round the farm and I found she had lost her confidence which, in turn, brought feelings of apprehension up in me. What I then remembered is how important our connection is for both of us, to know we are there for each other and are working as a team of two. What did this mean for us?

I went back to basics, I needed to be able to ride in the fields (no arena), starting with a smaller one and advancing to a larger one as our connection was re-established. We both needed to be calm and relaxed and listening to each other first at walk, then trot and on into canter. I needed to feel confident that Millie would listen to me and respond to requests for transitions, preferably with just using my energy, breath and seat. Millie in turn needed to feel confident I was listening to her concerns and being respectful of how she felt. 

After working on all this the feeling we had out in the big field was amazing, it was worth taking the time to re-connect, taking it slowly instead of rushing to hack out. We were a team of two again and able to progress. 

​What did I learn? 

• How I need to make the time and take the time to really BE with Millie, no excuses.
• What a difference it makes to how I feel about my riding when I am truly connecting with her. 
• To go back to basics when I need to and employ my own techniques!

My questions to you is how connected do you feel to your horse? If the answer is anything other than 'very' what are you going to do about it? Lessons with a good instructor or maybe some natural horsemanship games on the ground or in the saddle would be a start. I promise you the more connected you feel the more confident you will feel so take the time it takes.....

To you and your confidence
​Caroline Andrews - Horse Rider Confidence Specialist